There’s a certain kind of dog who says, “Don’t touch me—and don’t touch my stuff” (a phrase I first heard from Jean Donaldson in a lecture about dogs with guarding and body handling issues). Sometimes it’s a growl when you reach toward their collar. Sometimes it’s a stiff look or a flash of teeth when you walk near their food bowl. Sometimes it’s over a toy, a bed, or even just reaching to leash up for a walk.

If you’ve seen this behavior, you’re not alone—and you’re not failing.

What these dogs are telling us isn’t “I’m dominant,” or “I’m spoiled.” They’re saying “I’m not comfortable,” and they don’t yet have a safer way to say it. That’s where real change begins—not with control, but with clarity and consent.

Let’s unpack what that means.

Navigating the Lingo—Three Kinds of Conditioning:

Dogs learn in two main ways—one changes their behavior, and one changes their feelings. The latter can be done forwards, or in reverse.

Operant conditioning was first theorized by B.F. Skinner in the 1950’s. It’s like this: I do something, something happens next, and that affects whether I do that same thing again. Your dog sits, and you give a treat. The consequence (in this case the treat is positive reinforcement), dictates whether the behavior will increase or decrease.
Classical conditioning, goes back to Pavlov in the 1920’s. He rang the bell, then gave food – and did so 1,000 times. Then the dogs would salivate just from hearing the bell. They formed an association between “thing A” (the bell) and “thing B” (food). One predicts the other. While Skinner’s operant conditioning deals with the behavior on the surface, classical conditioning deals with the emotional layer underneath the behavior. It’s not about what the dog does—it’s about how the dog feels. When the leash comes out and your dog freezes or runs away, that’s not a behavioral choice—it’s an emotional response. The leash is associated with fear, or conflict, or restraint. It’s not about "bad behavior"—it's about what the dog feels, because of what the leash predicts.
Counter-conditioning: this is just Pavlov in reverse. The bell has a meaning (it predicts food). But let’s say we want to change that meaning, so we pair the bell with a new thing again and again and again. Most of the time it’s not a bell – it’s a scary trigger, like a big human hand reaching in, or movement toward coveted space. But we need to be able to move around…so we need the dog to feel better about it. So we pair that scary movement with something wonderful, and we do it again and again and again, while ensuring our dog doesn’t go “over threshold” with fear or anxiety. Eventually, the meaning of the trigger changes in the dog’s mind, and the emotion changes in their heart.

For dogs who say “don’t touch me” or “don’t touch my stuff,” counter-conditioning is essential. We’re not just shaping actions. We’re building new feelings: safety, security, trust. That’s why our first job is not to correct the behavior—it’s to rewrite the associations.

Reading the Room: Green, Yellow, Orange, Red Stress Signals

Before we start counter-conditioning, we have to know when to do it.

Think of your dog’s stress like a traffic light:

Green: Loose body, neutral ears, soft eyes, tail relaxed. This is your “ready to learn” zone.
Yellow: Ears up and forward, tail stiff or high, muscles tense, alert posture. Often the whites of the eyes are showing. This is early arousal—your dog is noticing something and beginning to evaluate if they’re safe.
Orange: Freezing, stillness. Mouth is closed. Head may be slightly lowered, eyes focused and intense. You may see subtle signs like lip licking, yawning, or a stiff tail. This is a warning zone—the dog is highly concerned, but hasn’t yet exploded.
Red: Growling, lunging, showing teeth, snapping. At this point, the dog is no longer processing calmly—they’re in fight-or-flight mode.

A key skill for any handler is learning to intervene before red. This means recognizing that wide-eyed stare, the ears pointed like radar, the stiff legs, or the subtle breath-holding that comes right before the lunge. These early stress indicators are the dog's way of whispering, “I’m not okay.” If we listen then, we can avoid the scream.

And here’s the rule: if the dog won’t eat, you’re too far. A dog who is too stressed to take food is in the red—and training should stop.

The Power of Ultra-High-Value Rewards

When helping sensitive dogs feel safer, the kind of reinforcement you use matters—a lot.

In this kind of work, ordinary kibble usually won’t cut it. You’ll want to use ultra-high-value rewards—food that is soft, smelly, easy to swallow, and truly exciting to the dog. Think: string cheese, liverwurst, hot dog slices, rotisserie chicken, meatballs, fish skin, anchovy paste, or freeze-dried raw.

The right reward is whatever your dog will still eat when they’re mildly concerned. Not all dogs like the same things, and that’s okay—your job is to experiment and find what works.

If your dog won’t eat at all during a session, it doesn’t mean they’re being stubborn—it means they’re too stressed. Take a break, drop the intensity, and try again later.

Push, Drop, Stick: Your Counter-Conditioning Compass

Every counter-conditioning session is a negotiation—and like any good negotiation, it requires careful listening.

Use this mental framework:

Push: Go one step further if your dog looks happy, eager, and is actively anticipating the reward. Maybe they’re wagging, shifting forward, or looking from the trigger to you with relaxed body language.
Drop: Back up a step if your dog freezes, turns away, stops eating, or begins to show stress signals (whale eye, tongue flick, tension). The dog is telling you: “This is too much.”
Stick: Stay where you are if the dog is neutral—neither stressed nor excited. These moments are still valuable. Let the dog gather data and get comfortable.

Sometimes people feel pressure to “make progress” in every session. But pushing too soon can cause sensitization instead of desensitization—actually making the issue worse. One of the most powerful things you can do is stay still and let your dog decide when they’re ready.

Partnership in Action

This kind of training isn’t about obedience—it’s about relationship.

True partnership means tuning in to the dog’s signals, respecting their boundaries, and working at their pace. It means the dog isn’t just being “handled”—they’re participating. And that changes everything.

For a dog who’s spent much of their life feeling misunderstood, every moment of choice is healing. Letting them opt in. Letting them walk away. Waiting until they show you they’re ready.

Training rooted in partnership doesn’t just teach behavior—it builds safety. And safety builds trust.

Which Triggers to Tackle First? How Much is Too Much?

Most dogs who guard or snap aren’t just reacting to one thing. There’s usually a list: the leash, hands near their collar, strangers reaching in, food bowls, doorbells, vacuum cleaners...

But trying to solve them all at once is overwhelming—for you and your dog. Instead, pick 1–3 triggers that are:

Predictable
Mild enough to work at sub-threshold
Easy to repeat for short sessions

Start there. Once you and your dog are building wins, you can expand.

How Much Counter-Conditioning is Good…and How Often?

Short, high-quality sessions work best:

3–5 minutes per session
2–3 times per day
4–5 days per week

This isn’t about logging hours. It’s about the dog feeling safe, seen, and successful. Often, one clear positive repetition is better than ten stressful ones.

How can You Tell if it’s Working?

Watch for these signs:

Your dog takes food closer to the trigger.
Their body language softens.
They recover faster from startling events.
They approach the trigger voluntarily, looking curious instead of fearful.

This is how you know the classical conditioning is working.

But if your dog is getting more reactive—or starts to shut down, eat less, or become avoidant—you may be pushing too fast. Pause. Scale back. Listen. The work isn’t gone; it just needs adjusting.

What About Treat Overload?

Feeding ultra-high-value food regularly can cause GI upset. To manage:

Use tiny portions (the size of a pea or smaller).
Vary treats across days and sessions.
Offer water and breaks.
Consider non-food reinforcers when appropriate: sniffing, space, play.

If GI issues persist, consult with your vet—but don’t drop reinforcement altogether. Instead, rotate options or explore alternative rewards like decompression time or toy access.

Trust Is the Goal

The ultimate goal isn’t a perfect “leave it” cue, or the ability to take a toy away with no protest. The goal is that your dog feels safe enough not to guard in the first place. That they believe you’ll respect their boundaries. That they can breathe when you reach for their leash.

That trust doesn’t come from corrections. It comes from consistency, communication, and choice. It comes from listening before they shout. From understanding what they’re saying when they freeze or growl. And when you do that, your dog doesn’t just change their behavior. They change how they feel. About the world. About you. About themselves. And that’s the most powerful shift of all.

Don’t Touch Me and Don’t Touch My Stuff! Helping Dogs with Guarding and Handling Issues

Navigating the Lingo­­—Three Kinds of Conditioning: